WELL WHAT AN EXPERIENCE
I have seen animals killed for fun or for veterinary reasons but this was the first real time I had seen an animal ‘butchered’ that wasn’t a fish. How can I start? How about ‘It was a nice cold December morning and I was struggling with a head cold’.
We started at about 8am with Tonda (father in law - FIL), Tonda (grand father in law - GFIL) and Jindra (Uncle in law - UIL). Tonda (brother in law) was suspiciously absent from proceedings as he doesn’t quite subscribe to the pig kill philosophy althought he enjoys pork.
I remember thinking “how the hell are we going to kill a 160kg pig?” Fell it was a fairly simple procedure and it was all over very quickly for the pig. A ‘slip knot’ rope was attached over the pigs snout which caused the pig the immediately sit on its haunches like a statue and start squealing like a pig (I now know where this phrase comes from).
Tonda (FIL) quickly rushed in while the pig was paralysed by this rope, pressed a bolt gun against the animal’s forehead and flicked the trigger. This caused a 10cm bolt to fire from the end of the gun straight into the pig’s brain. The end result was one dead pig. As I said, it was a very quick and humane process. 
Jindra and I then quickly dragged the pig onto the grass and the pig’s throat was stabbed where the vein was and all the blood was drained from the body into a bucket. While this was happening Tonda (GFIL) was stirring the blood with his hand.
I am not really sure what this was for but I am guessing to stop the blood from congealing and going solid. It was later used in blood sausages (not my favourite).Once this was over we covered the pig in sap powder and then started pouring boiling water on it. This softened up the hair and allowed us to shave the animal was fairly crude looking metal cups. It took about 1hr to do this and once we had done the pig the remaining hairs were burnt off with a blow torch so the pig’s skin was smooth like a baby’s bottom.
We then all struggled to hoist the animal up onto a tripod so Tonda (FIL) could start the butchering process. From my view the only part of the pig that was wasted was the hair and the penis. Everything else was used. EVERYTHING
The guts were emptied and used to make sausages and port terrene. The fat was boiled down to make a cooking fat/bread spread.
The skins and the other organs all went into the sausage with equal parts of garlic. As a result I can admit the taste was quite nice but I couldn’t get past the fact all the organs, skins and brain was in there so as a result I tried everything but won’t be going back for seconds. 
All the offcuts and pieces of fat that missed the sausages and cooking oil went through the grinder to make mince. Its nice mince if you’re ok with mince that’s 50% fat and 50% meat.
The rest of the animals was cut into ribs and fillets and pieces of meat perfect for schnitzel (spelt ‘rizek’ in Czech) and roasts etc. Yum Yum.
I am pleased to admit I was actively involved in the entire process and I think 20 years of killing, bleeding and filleting fish put me in really good stead to handle everything I saw without needing to ‘drive the porcelain bus’ as some of it was pretty gross. Cleaning ‘waste’ out of 40m of animals intestine so you can then refill it with sausage meat to later eat was one memory that certainly sticks out.
I think my favourite part was when we prepared the meat for the smoking and then tasted the reward. I have never had meat STRAIGHT from a smoker but it was absolutely delight ful. Even the fat in the meat was yummy and had a mouth watering smoky taste. Mmmmmm hog fat.
Anyway the entire process took almost 2 days but was quite fun. I will say I needed a weekend to recover when it was all over.
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