Friday, April 2, 2010

Czech Republic says 'YES' to violence against women

So some of you lucky buggers get to go out and smash massive pelagics and I am trapped in a land locked country and have to spend the weekend with the in laws. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted

Anyway Easter here means the men can run around with plaited willow branches and smack any woman he wants on the arse. The problem is if the woman thinks it hurts too much they can tip a bucket of water on the mans head. Remember we have just finished winter the water is ‘spanner water’ (it tightens the nuts).

So being in finance and regularly having to evaluate the merit of internal project I am familiar with the concept of ‘risk vs reward’. It took me approximately 3 seconds to conclude that a bucket of icey water is a small price to pay for being able to ‘able go to town on my mother laws arse with a whip’. Deadset that woman will not be sitting for a week and I’ll be cold for approximately 2 minutes before I hop into the shower. The other option is I wonder if she realises my cricket bat is willow. In the words of the amazing Mr Happy Gilmore ……………. “the price is wroooooooooong bitch” Maybe my Easter won’t be so ordinary after all



Tuesday, October 20, 2009

More Piccies

Hi all

Well I promised some more piccies of the little one, so here they are. Mum has just left and we had a great time with her here. Its amazing that sooo long after having to nurse me and my sister that the old lady still has it. With in 5 minutes of arriving mum had managed to get about 25l of gas out of the Olivka which Michaela and I were having all sorts of issues with.

So here they are

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Olivia Michaela Gates born 26 August 2009

Hi guys

Just a quick post today until i have pictures etc to let you know that Olivia (Olivka) was born last night at 7:10pm and is now resting with her mum in hospital.

The male nurse was saying something like 'Arh cute little girl' and my fatherly instincts cut in immediately

I was thinking ..........................
'Don't you look at my daughter buddy unless you want me getting crazy on your arse'

Anyway i will post photos when I have some that are a little more PG rated


Gatesy aka Novy Tata aka New Dad

Monday, August 10, 2009

Not long now

So this weekend with only a few weeks to go we made a quick dash to Germany to pick up our pram/car seat/stroller etc etc that we had ordered some months ago. The new little Skoda Roomster is a driving treat compared to the Opel Agila we had borrowed off the in-laws while we saved for a car, and at 140-150km/h (remember we were in Germany) still only needs about 7.5L/100km which I think is pretty good.

Anyway picked up the goodies (car packed to the roof :)) and returned to the in-laws to drop it all off. Apparently it is bad luck to have a pram in your apartment before the baby is born in this country so it all stays in Zalany until d-day. We made an in promptu visit to some of my friends playing cricket in Dresden and next thing I know I am padded up and batting as they were one player short. Made 5 magnificent runs before the cover drive failed me AGAIN and we then ducked off home again.

I will let everyone know ASAP when the little one joins us

Friday, July 24, 2009

Is the Czech Republic fighting terrorism or just hungry

Hey all

Well recently I was down in the garden of the FIL when I stumbled across a crop of poppy plants. "Hmmmm these look like the poppy plants you always see in Afghanistan documentaries about the Taliban heroin production". After some inconspicuous questioning of the in laws "You're all F***ing drugo's aren't you!!!!!!!!" I realised that it's grown for cooking purposes although I swear I heard something about medicinal purposes in there somewhere :)

Anyway, the result of my research is that it is indeed the same plant that heroin is extracted from except the difference between the nasty drug and a tasty cake topping is where on the plant you get the goodies and how long it’s grown for. Heroin is extracted from the sap of the young plants and the poppy seeds are extracted after the bulbs are fully ripe and left to dry. They are then shaken out of the bulbs.

Some more research told me that it is possible to return a positive return for opiates after eating poppy seed cake or 2 poppy seed bagels. The result of this revelation is that the US lifted their drug test thresholds to take into account poppy seed cake :)

It also is interesting to know that the CR is the world’s largest producer of poppy seed. Now if they spent more time and effort producing drugs, they could flood the market with cheap heroin reducing demand and dropping the price .................. hence reducing the cash inflow for the Taliban. Hahaha the humble mujahedeen gets taken down by basic supply and demand of the global market.

Another interesting thought is that after eating an entire poppy seed cake it looks like you're eaten an entire ant colony when you drop the kids off the next day (shock)

Also I will post some updated pictures of the garden and you can appreciate the amount of potatoes i will have to pick (shit not looking forward to that)

Cau for now

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pregnancy Photos

Here are pics from a horrendous photo session. Thought it would take 20-30 minutes ............... WRONG

The results are ok though

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Is hell freezing over???????


After more then a year in this country I am finally about to 'wet a line' this weekend with the uncle in law. He has a private dam on his property which has carp so i am hoping to get in there and land a couple. I will keep you posted on the progress. I secretly suspect we will catch nothing but I AM STILL EXCITED

Will update more soon, like do you know the effort the Czech Republic goes to tackle terrorism? I will tell you how soon